1. David Attenborough made a film of two animals mating. Alan Price and Eric Burdon weren’t a bit pleased.
2. My dog knows all about hire purchase. I’ve trained it to go into the Oxfam Shop and leave a deposit on a Des O’Connor record.
3. A Chameleon landed on Boy George and died of embarrassment. The Ferret was luckier,it ran up his leg and came back with a puzzled look on his face.
4. Oliver Reed did his impression of a frog. Went into a French restaurant and ended up legless.
5. Jimmy Hill turned up with a love bite and everyone thought it was self inflicted.
6. Boy George is so indecisive – I saw him standing midway between the gents and ladies and flipping a coin.
7. An Insulation Engineer swapped jobs with Barbara Cartland’s dressmaker and still ended up lagging old boilers.
8. Madonna’s been persuaded to take off her clothes again. A smooth talking rag and bone man got the lot for 2 balloons.
9. When Paul Daniels was born the doctor threw a cloth over his mother and produced him out of a hat.
10. Ken Dodd sat on a Duracell Battery. That’s why he goes on five times longer than all other comedians.
11. Ken Dodd – the first person in Britain to notice that Habitat spelled backwards is Tatibah everybody tatibah.
12. She had a face that could have been sculpted by Michelangelo, with buttocks by Henry Moore.
A TRIBUTE TO DENNIS BERSON
This site is dedicated to the memory of my friend Dennis Berson. He was a great comedy sciptwriter and one of comedy's unsung hero's. The more than 4000 jokes that will eventually follow, are a testimony to his skill, and a chance to "have a laugh" - enjoy!
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Dennis Berson
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BACKGROUND and PROFILE OF DENNIS BERSON
DOB:
Death:
Education
School –
O Levels
June 1960 - English Language
English Literature
History
Latin
French
Nov 1960 - Chemistry
June 1961 - Greek
A Levels
June 1963 - History Grade A
Economics Grade A
Latin Grade D
Degree – BA – Special Studies in History (Class 11 Honours)
Studied for a Masters Degree in ancient Viking history.
Life
His mother was of English extract and his father of Russian extract. He lived in Leeds (West Yorkshire) until 1980 then moved to
During his formative years he played an active part in the local community taking a keen interest in local history, youth clubs and community work.
Dennis was a generous, honest and genuine friend to many. He was always available to lend an ear, or to offer constructive advice and help.
He was a charitable man who supported a wide range of good causes including many that had a link with nature and wildlife.
He was a keen naturalist and had a deep love of the environment. He studied birds, flowers and trees, and designed a magnificent wildlife garden at his home in
He enjoyed sport, and supported rugby union. He enjoyed exercise, including table tennis, jogging and swimming. In his younger days he would regularly run for 3 to 4 miles and swim 40 to 50 lengths.
He had a photographic memory and a prodigious intellect. He was a member of several successful pub quiz teams and played a major part in their achievements.
Work
Berson’s Café 1968 – This was a café opened by his parents at Moortown Corner in
During this period he began writing comedy cartoon punchlines in conjunction with a friend who was a cartoonist.
Connaught Assurance Brokers Ltd 1971
Civil Servant 1973
Comedy Script Writer 1976
Dennis always had a love of humour and had a particular liking for off beat comedy, satire and pathos.
His professional career began in 1976 when he was employed as comedy writer to Ken Dodd. He was paid the princely sum of £40 per week for which he would often have to make a trip to Knotty Ash to collect his wages (probably in cash from under the bed).
This was followed by commissions from major TV companies writing shows such as Golden Shot and Celebrity Squares. This period began a long association of over 20 years with Bob Monkhouse, as comedy script and gag writer. He also wrote for such acclaimed comedy stars as Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck, The Two Ronnies and Alexi Sayle.
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