Sunday, 30 May 2010
Gags 25
1. KGB – Knackered Great Britain.
2. Janet Street Porter gets hate mail from the deaf. Seems they go cross-eyed trying to read her lips.
3. If Barbara Woodhouse sees a dog making a mess on her lawn, she creeps up behind it and shouts “sit!”
4. The Americans won’t be having turkey for thanksgiving. Got enough on their plates with Afghanistan.
5. Ronnie Corbett tried to improve his physique. Spent the night in the greenhouse up to his neck in a grow-bag.
6. Barry Manilow – the type of person who’d cut off his face to spite his nose.
7. Barry Manilow’s into alternative medicine – if his nose gets blocked he sends for Dynarod.
8. Saw Ronnie Corbett struggling with a childproof bottle – no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get out.
9. Barry Manilow fell in love with an Eskimo girl with a nose even bigger than his own. Should have seen them, like rubbing two sticks together. Ended up setting fire to her moustache.
2. Janet Street Porter gets hate mail from the deaf. Seems they go cross-eyed trying to read her lips.
3. If Barbara Woodhouse sees a dog making a mess on her lawn, she creeps up behind it and shouts “sit!”
4. The Americans won’t be having turkey for thanksgiving. Got enough on their plates with Afghanistan.
5. Ronnie Corbett tried to improve his physique. Spent the night in the greenhouse up to his neck in a grow-bag.
6. Barry Manilow – the type of person who’d cut off his face to spite his nose.
7. Barry Manilow’s into alternative medicine – if his nose gets blocked he sends for Dynarod.
8. Saw Ronnie Corbett struggling with a childproof bottle – no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get out.
9. Barry Manilow fell in love with an Eskimo girl with a nose even bigger than his own. Should have seen them, like rubbing two sticks together. Ended up setting fire to her moustache.
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