Sunday, 18 April 2010
Gags 9
1. I’ve had more interesting conversations with a lettuce. The last lettuce I talked to told me she’d had seven proposals of marriage from Sunday Sport reporters.
3. Investigating the paranormal phenomena that defy all the known laws of science like poltergeists, telepathy, Bobby Charlton’s hair.
4. I was delighted by all the litter that people had left behind – crisp packets, beer cans, Rick Astley CD's.
5. I’ve got a car that can turn on a sixpence. It loves talking dirty to a piece of pre-decimal coinage.
6. I’ve always had an educated palate. I was raised in the wild by goats who fed me on remaindered copies of Anthony Burgess novels.
7. I’m an amateur tree surgeon, struck off for committing misconduct with a patient. I tried to date a tree by buying it chocolates and taking it to the pictures.
8. I’ve got a good ear for dialogue. I stick it between my shoulder blades so I can hear what people are saying about me behind my back.
9. I haven’t always been a modest person. You can tell by the stretch marks on my head.
3. Investigating the paranormal phenomena that defy all the known laws of science like poltergeists, telepathy, Bobby Charlton’s hair.
4. I was delighted by all the litter that people had left behind – crisp packets, beer cans, Rick Astley CD's.
5. I’ve got a car that can turn on a sixpence. It loves talking dirty to a piece of pre-decimal coinage.
6. I’ve always had an educated palate. I was raised in the wild by goats who fed me on remaindered copies of Anthony Burgess novels.
7. I’m an amateur tree surgeon, struck off for committing misconduct with a patient. I tried to date a tree by buying it chocolates and taking it to the pictures.
8. I’ve got a good ear for dialogue. I stick it between my shoulder blades so I can hear what people are saying about me behind my back.
9. I haven’t always been a modest person. You can tell by the stretch marks on my head.
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