Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Gags 4

1.    Feminist operatic co-operative sold out to commercial sponsorship and did Carmen with heated rollers under their arms.

2.    Marxist version of Shakespeare – shall I compare thee to a Bulgarian tractor factory

3.    If you believe that the poor should help themselves, don’t be surprised if hey come round to your house and help themselves to your video

4.    The meek must not expect to inherit the earth.  They’ve just got to be grateful they’re allowed to inhabit it.

5.    Definition of a wasted youth – anyone on a government training scheme

6.    Coloured guy broke 7 policemen’s kneecaps just by wearing a cast iron truss

7.    Boss a typical Victorian capitalist. Someone told him I had anorexia, so he immediately cancelled my luncheon vouchers

8.    Definition of optimism – paying a second visit to the job centre

9.    Immigration officer cracked under the strain. Found him up a tree trying to deport the blackbirds

10.    Vivisectionists all think they’re Dr Doolittle. Wander round laboratory singing “If I could torture the animals” 

11.    Vote with your feet. Kick a labour front bencher

No comments:

Post a Comment