1. Feminist operatic co-operative sold out to commercial sponsorship and did Carmen with heated rollers under their arms.
2. Marxist version of Shakespeare – shall I compare thee to a Bulgarian tractor factory
3. If you believe that the poor should help themselves, don’t be surprised if hey come round to your house and help themselves to your video
4. The meek must not expect to inherit the earth. They’ve just got to be grateful they’re allowed to inhabit it.
5. Definition of a wasted youth – anyone on a government training scheme
6. Coloured guy broke 7 policemen’s kneecaps just by wearing a cast iron truss
7. Boss a typical Victorian capitalist. Someone told him I had anorexia, so he immediately cancelled my luncheon vouchers
8. Definition of optimism – paying a second visit to the job centre
9. Immigration officer cracked under the strain. Found him up a tree trying to deport the blackbirds
10. Vivisectionists all think they’re Dr Doolittle. Wander round laboratory singing “If I could torture the animals”
11. Vote with your feet. Kick a labour front bencher
A TRIBUTE TO DENNIS BERSON
This site is dedicated to the memory of my friend Dennis Berson. He was a great comedy sciptwriter and one of comedy's unsung hero's. The more than 4000 jokes that will eventually follow, are a testimony to his skill, and a chance to "have a laugh" - enjoy!
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Dennis Berson
Blog Archive
Followers
BACKGROUND and PROFILE OF DENNIS BERSON
DOB:
Death:
Education
School –
O Levels
June 1960 - English Language
English Literature
History
Latin
French
Nov 1960 - Chemistry
June 1961 - Greek
A Levels
June 1963 - History Grade A
Economics Grade A
Latin Grade D
Degree – BA – Special Studies in History (Class 11 Honours)
Studied for a Masters Degree in ancient Viking history.
Life
His mother was of English extract and his father of Russian extract. He lived in Leeds (West Yorkshire) until 1980 then moved to
During his formative years he played an active part in the local community taking a keen interest in local history, youth clubs and community work.
Dennis was a generous, honest and genuine friend to many. He was always available to lend an ear, or to offer constructive advice and help.
He was a charitable man who supported a wide range of good causes including many that had a link with nature and wildlife.
He was a keen naturalist and had a deep love of the environment. He studied birds, flowers and trees, and designed a magnificent wildlife garden at his home in
He enjoyed sport, and supported rugby union. He enjoyed exercise, including table tennis, jogging and swimming. In his younger days he would regularly run for 3 to 4 miles and swim 40 to 50 lengths.
He had a photographic memory and a prodigious intellect. He was a member of several successful pub quiz teams and played a major part in their achievements.
Work
Berson’s Café 1968 – This was a café opened by his parents at Moortown Corner in
During this period he began writing comedy cartoon punchlines in conjunction with a friend who was a cartoonist.
Connaught Assurance Brokers Ltd 1971
Civil Servant 1973
Comedy Script Writer 1976
Dennis always had a love of humour and had a particular liking for off beat comedy, satire and pathos.
His professional career began in 1976 when he was employed as comedy writer to Ken Dodd. He was paid the princely sum of £40 per week for which he would often have to make a trip to Knotty Ash to collect his wages (probably in cash from under the bed).
This was followed by commissions from major TV companies writing shows such as Golden Shot and Celebrity Squares. This period began a long association of over 20 years with Bob Monkhouse, as comedy script and gag writer. He also wrote for such acclaimed comedy stars as Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck, The Two Ronnies and Alexi Sayle.
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